answered prayer,adoption,and road trips

Praise God little Kosi is doing so much better, thanks for all who prayed!!

For those of you who don't know me well, I am a big proponent of adoption. I know a lot of people who have adopted and/or foster, follow blogs of complete strangers who follow the call to adopt, and I try to support anyway I can whether it be prayer, financial, or otherwise. There is one blog that I follow and have been so encouraged by the faith of this family and have joined them in praying (although they have no idea who I am) for their very emotional struggle to try to adopt a special needs little boy from Russia. Today, I found out they were FINALLY able to bring little Kirill home which is a total miracle! (I highly encourage you to follow them and their story!) But before she would even tell us faithful readers the whole story of their long awaited victory, she instead decided to put it off until enough money is raised for a family she knows trying to adopt some very needy and hurting brothers who are from eastern Europe, because she couldn't get their needs and their story off of her heart. As soon as I read about the two boys and saw pictures of their condition, I knew I couldn't do nothing. Here is the reason I'm telling you all of this...If you have ever wanted a chance to help complete strangers follow the call of Christ, here is your chance! You can make as small or big of a donation by going here. Read the story, pray, and then make a donation. Heck, if you just give up a latte or fast food trip this week, you have contributed without making any difference to your bank account! I firmly believe that if the body of Christ got behind those willing to adopt, not only would money NEVER be an issue and it should never be an issue, but there would be a huge dent in the orphan crisis out there.

I couldn't contribute much, but I am thankful that I can be of some part in helping my brothers and sisters in Christ, do something that I (and Christ) feel is so important. Ok, I'm getting off my soap box now=)

On another note, I am driving to Colorado tomorrow morning to reunite with some friends that I know from Bible school. One of them was my roommate that I got close to my last semester and since she is from France, I haven't seen her in years. I am SO excited for the short time all of us will get to spend together and that I was able to get time off of work on short notice. Just please pray that my little car and I make it safely there and back and that our time together will be encouraging!

I will leave you with some pictures that make me happy=)
 

prayer please!

Hey, I just want to ask you to take a minute out of your day and pray for sweet baby Kosi. He is one of the adorable twin boys that I have mentioned before on my blog. He is living at A Place of Hope and is very sick. He has Malaria and Typhoid and has been treated at home but he has progressively got worse. He is not able to keep the medicine in his little body long enough to be effective because he is throwing up.  They took him to the hospital last night to get an iv and to see if he might need a blood transfusion. The best hospital close by is still awful and they had no electricity. Bev Starling who is there with him, said that they had to use the little flash light from a cell phone for the nurse to try to find his vein and when she couldn't, she just gave up. The man supposed to be doing his blood work fell asleep. Please just pray for wise and motivated hospital staff and that his body will respond to the treatment. Thank you so much..we serve a God that hears our prayers!

Kosi(left) with his brother, Aka

according to Ryan, on, The Office, blogs are out..

..but I would just like to say that blogs are underrated...
im not saying this out of pride or so that you will be inclined to read mine, but because of how encouraged i am every day after reading the blogs that i keep up with. i look so forward to the updates of the many that i follow and getting a glimpse of the life and ministry of some unsung heroes out there...

it reminds me that what i want to do and where my heart is, isn't crazy.

it makes my heart full at the thought of there being so many people out there, scattered across the world, who are following not just their dreams, but the hard reality of what God wants them to do.

it keeps me motivated, because let's face it, it can be a daily, even hourly,  struggle to keep my focus on eternal things, and not myself.

it keeps reality in check. yes, my reality/life may be pretty easy (even though, the way i can complain, you might not know it), i mean, i live in america. i have endless options.. food,tv,jobs,clothes,things,freedom,stability...but this is not the reality of the majority of the world and i would be doing a great injustice to the gospel to forget this.

so, if you want to be challenged, encouraged, and people to pray for or donate to, you should check these out. but most importantly, if you want a reason, a Christ-like example, and motivation to get off the couch and do something, then you should DEFINITELY read these!

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ an amazing woman of God who followed His leading in uganda, and is now a 22 year old mother to 14 girls..she is truly beautiful inside and out and radiates with the joy and love of Christ!
http://servinghischildreninuganda.blogspot.com/ i found this one through reading the one above. another young lady who has started a ministry in uganda and does a feeding program, cares for extremely ill children and is teaching and demonstrating the love of Christ. i am praying about joining this ministry at the end of this year!
http://joiningthejourney.blogspot.com/an amazing family who advocate adoption and just share the joys, convictions and reality of having a big, blended, Christ-seeking family. their story and what they are doing in the US and abroad is so powerful.
http://oatsvallteam.blogspot.com/basically the same as what i wrote for above..the wives that write the blogs are actually best friends. they have also started a business that not only advocates adoption, but sends the profits to support ministries going on all over the world!
http://jimandshelley.blogspot.com/this is a  family i know that have a ministry in guaetemala. i love reading about the every day things that happen and also seeing God work amazingly through their work and their hardships. plus they have some adorable twin boys!
http://sarahkparsons.blogspot.com/a beautiful young lady, serving as a nurse in Haiti.
http://drivesideways.blogspot.com/ this is a family that I love and have known for a long time, who have recently started the very hard ministry of foster care here in the US. She is very open and honest about the things it involves and the affect it has on their whole family.
http://starleelittle.wordpress.com/ this is a beautiful and dear friend who is also serving in haiti right now.

those are just a few to get you started..enjoy!

videos of the kids!

      Here are a few random videos from when I was in Nigeria for those of you who haven't seen them on facebook. I also added some pictures to some of my previous posts from when I was in Nigeria that the internet wouldn't allow me to upload at the time...enjoy!

the kids like to play school...and their teachers really do use switches on them like Mesoma is doing here!

the kids are all in my room, "helping" me pack=)

                                                   

it took "baby" joy a long time to walk so we were pretty excited about it when she finally decided to!

the kids love imitating what they see the actors doing in the asian films!

a beautiful little hidden waterfall after a hike through the jungle

                                                

a glimpse of our trip to get to a little village

   

Bev and me had to get creative in order to get some coffee other than nasty instant

Don't you love it when the Bible is nice and direct?  No debating or guessing at what the hidden meaning is. Of course, it also makes it harder to come up with excuses at why you aren't obeying it! It's just one of the many things I love about Paul the apostle. Paul writes this in his letter to the Romans but it is clearly meant for all believers...


"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned...
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 
Love one another with brotherly affection. 

Outdo one another in showing honor. 

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 

Live in harmony with one another. 

Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. 

Never be conceited. 

Repay no one for evil with evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all...

if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink...Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
-Romans 12:3;9-21 

Today, "weep with those who weep", stuck out to me. I have been keeping up with the disaster going on in Japan and I was also catching up on a girl's blog who is serving as a nurse in Haiti and reading about the horrible cholera epidemic and it's hard to not just weep at all of the horrible things going on in the world. It's hard not to weep for all of the people who are without hope. People who, in the face of so much tragedy, are without the only thing that even matters...Jesus Christ. 

I don't want to just weep though, I want to do something about it. I want to feed and clothe them and demonstrate Christ's love through me..."each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.."

Coming back home after being in a place that my heart longs for and loves, is not an easy thing...

Coming back home, not knowing the next time I'm going to hold, play with, bandage up,cook with, and just live life with the kids I love, and laugh and talk with my dear friends there, is heart wrenching...

Coming back home without a peace about moving back there permanently, was enough to shake my confidence in God's plan for my life and make me question what was the point of going there in the first place...

I have wanted to update my blog for awhile, if nothing else, just to get my thoughts out there and try to process everything that I am feeling.

It's taken me this long because, although I'm ashamed to admit it, I was a little angry with God.

I was angry that He took me to a place where I was willing to commit my life to, but didn't give me a clear go ahead.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that me going wasn't in vain. God taught me more things during the 8 months I lived in Nigeria than I could have ever learned in 4 years of college, conferences, or books combined. I got to experience the real,harsh,heart-breaking,joyful,amazing realities of “missionary life”. I learned things that work, things that are necessary, I learned how similar people's needs and wants are no matter if you live in a hut in Africa or a condo in LA, things that I wouldn't want to repeat, the uselessness and wastefulness of talk instead of action, the very real nastiness of my flesh, the beauty of a humble, servant's heart, things that I am capable of, things that I need to pray that Christ work on in me...the list could go on.

Not to mention that the kids I fell in love with there will forever change me,urge me on, and have grown in me  a deep desire for caring (physically and spiritually) for the orphans, widows, and shown me the importance of training and teaching others to do the same.

I have worried so much and been so discouraged that I have made myself physically ill...

Worried that I am not living up to,whoever's,standards...worried that I am getting old and have not lived a purposeful life(in other's eyes)...worried that I have to go get a degree in able to do anything at all of use...worried that I won't ever find a guy who's passions and heart lines up with mine...worried that I am missing out on things I want to do...worried that I have no useful talents,gifts,or abilities...

The other night as I was driving and thinking about all of these things and how I felt like my life was such a waste, God kind of slapped me in the face.

It's NOT about doing things that look good in other people's eyes or living up to their standards(which, I would venture to say, look pretty different from the life that Jesus lived)

It's NOT about getting a degree, having a career, and living the “American dream”

It's NOT about what I have or haven't done, but what I'm being called to do right now

It's NOT about finding any man, but falling in love with the one who died so I could live

It's NOT about having talents and abilities that look good or that I can boast in

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME AT ALL!

It's HIM. My life has no meaning without HIM. Anything I could do, no matter how great or noble, would be completely useless and wasted without HIM.

It suddenly became so clear that all of the confusion I have been feeling is because I had taken Him completely out of the equation. And suddenly, I knew peace. The first peace I have had since coming home. All I desire right now is to live my life for Him. If He wants me here right now, I will be content with that. If He wants me to go back to school, I will go. But I won't go because that's what the world expects of me.

The only thing I know for certain right now is that my passions are the same as far as wanting to live and minister in another country, and I feel like, unless God slams that door or leads me in another way, that is where I'm headed. Today I had a very encouraging conversation with a man that works with an organization that I am praying about going with, called, Serving His Children(http://www.servinghischildren.org/ ). I am very excited about their hearts and philosophy of ministry!

Wherever He has me, man am I a person ever in need of Christ and HIS life lived in me. What a despairing, sad, useless world without His hope,grace,and peace. I'm not just talking about unbelievers...I am a believer who will one day spend eternity in heaven, and believe that there is nothing I can do that will change that, but even with that confidence, I can (and do) waste my life here when it is spent living it for me and not in and through Him.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal;but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;nor about your body,what you will put on...For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,and all these things shall be added to you." John 6:19-21,25,32-33


When I got back, I went rode trippin' and had some amazing times catching up with friends and family in Colorado and Arizona..

    I got to see the Gardner family, who I hadn't seen in years..love them!

my dear friend Kelli let me stay with her and her husband for 

a week while we enjoyed Colorado

Arizona is so beautiful!

my aunt and uncles front yard 

my uncles in front of the potato chip company they started in Goodyear

..and of course i can't leave you without some pics of the kids at APOH!=)

'a place of hope' sent this in their newsletter for valentines day...
ugo, kose,chizoba,and joy

.

This will be a week filled with many emotions. I will leave what has been my home for the last 4 months(8 months total) and my sweet kids here, for the U.S. in exactly one week.

The flood of emotions have already started...excitement, anticipation, anxiousness, heartbreak, confusion.
I'm so excited to see my family that I miss very much. I am more that ready to blend into the crowd again and not be yelled at, stared at, laughed at, touched(by strangers), or be called,“my wife”, “onyeocha”, etc. I'm eagerly anticipating our never ending food selections(especially milk, meat, and chocolate!). I'm pretty sure I won't be eating rice or beans for awhile. I will surely appreciate 24/7 electricity and running water!I can't wait to catch up with friends over coffee, especially my sister who got engaged while I was here! I'm so ready to be back at my church, Epic!

However...

Gaining all of these things means leaving my extended family, and this leaves my heart, quite literally, aching.
Five year old Neso, has now told me three times in the last two months that,
“If you leave, I'm sure I will cry.”
How does that not break your heart?! Ha, just thinking about it is making me cry!

This week I will be spending quality time with each child, hugging them as much as possible, telling them all I love them until they are sick of hearing it=), and just trying to soak up every detail, memory, laugh, song, smile, tear, and embrace.
Hopefully my sentiments aren't annoying you too much! But I can't describe the love I have for these kids and being apart from them leaves something lacking in me.

I wish I could say I have been selfless and so loving this whole time, but that would be a gross lie. My flesh is just as present here as it is anywhere else and I get annoyed with the kids and do and say things that I regret. But, only by the grace of God, we can start not even just a new day, but a new moment, afresh!

I went into this trip with the prayer that God would make it known to me if this is where He might have me permanently or not. All I will say right now is that I will be spending a lot of time resting, praying, and in the Word when I get home. I have a lot of things to sort through and really seek God about and I would HUGELY appreciate your prayers in this!

I have experienced many things on this trip that I wasn't expecting, good and bad, which is why I am coming home now, instead of December like I had planned. But I know that none of it is a surprise to God and that is comforting!

One thing that stands firm though is my love for the hurting, impoverished, forgotten, and broken ones.

I still desire more than anything to be His hands and feet and I'm so thankful that as a jar of clay, He is forever molding me and breaking me into His image, as long as I am abiding in Him.

I just want to say a humble, “thank you”, to everyone who gave of their time, money, prayers, and things to get me here and giving for the kids. I have seen at least a part of the fruit of it, and even if you never have a chance to see it yourself, I know that in heaven you will!

I will be keeping you informed on my travels home and where God is leading me...