Sometimes...

Sometimes, you get worried because things aren't working out how you want or in your timing and so you try to figure it all out for yourself. Sometimes God uses an almost complete stranger to hand you a check and give you truth and encouragement and remind you that this isn't about you and what you can do to "make it work" and that God is the one that called you and He won't leave you to figure it out by yourself, so just trust Him already!

Sometimes, you hear heart wrenching news and your heart hurts so much that someone can turn their back on what they know is right and make life-altering decisions that will devastate others and you get so angry that you can't beat the right answers(what you think are the right answers) into them and put the pieces back together. Sometimes God uses things like that to remind you that you are nothing without Him and that you are just as capable of making horribly bad decisions and choosing to run from His path if you aren't consistently abiding in Him(which you have done..many times). Sometimes you beg God to give you the right words to say to someone who is hurting so much they can't breathe. Words that will be founded in truth, but be encouraging and not push them away. Sometimes you have to pray that you won't carry the burden around yourself and let it effect you too much. 

Sometimes, you get reminded by people wiser than you that you need to stop being so worried about sharing about the ministry God has called you to and the horrible feelings of inadequacy that comes with trying to "sell" yourself and ministry, to people who might be wanting to give and pray. Because you are absolutely not "selling" yourself. If that were the case, people wouldn't and shouldn't give you a dime! You are in fact, "selling" your God and the people who you will be ministering to/with and your relationship with Jesus and the faces that you are so familiar with and love so dearly and the need for real and lasting hope in every part of the world. And that is something that you can talk about with confidence and with passion because it's no longer about you and what you're doing, it's about God and what He is doing and how we can all, amazingly, have a part in it! 

Sometimes...you just have to write your thoughts down in a vague sort of way. So that you can just get it out there and hopefully relieve some stress and so that you can remember the things that you are learning through out it all.  Thanks for reading my ramblings:)